Parents are responsible for their children’s physical and mental health. They nurture, encourage, and support their kid’s decisions. But what happens when a parent wants to make decisions that will affect their child’s future?
One parent who did not state their gender and pronouns revealed in a Reddit post that they are a computer scientist and want their daughter to follow suit.
In the post on the platform’s “Am I the A**hole community”, the parent said the 17-year-old girl has always been smart with huge potential, and has the ability to become a great data scientist.
However, the child does not like science, despite this being a lucrative field and wants to become a psychologist instead.
“She does not want to be one (a scientist). I have been influencing her since she was 10. She was initially excited but does not want to anymore.
“She says that she wants to be a psychologist and now wants to have a business major. I don’t think it’s a right fit for her because she does not have the social skills needed to become a psychologist (she’s autistic).”
According to Autism South Africa, autism is a complex group of neuro-developmental disabilities. It is considered a spectrum where autistic people may have restricted social communication and interaction.
The parent said they don’t understand how their daughter is supposed to deal with adults with psychological issues, as this can involve dealing with “people that can be immature as hell”.
Reddit users did not take kindly to this and accused the poster of being ableist (to regard people with a disability as incomplete, diminished, damaged, and discriminate against them).
“It’s disgusting that you talk about your daughter as though she's somehow mentally deficient. Autistic people are not stupid. Autistic adults do not need to be condescended to or babied.
Autistic people often have incredible empathy and insight, in a way that neurotypical (individuals with typical neurological development or functioning) people do not. Your daughter might be autistic but you’re the one being patronising, inflexible and demanding. YTA (you’re the A**hole) , obviously,” said another Reddit user.
Another Redditor advised the parent to stop, claiming that not doing so would destroy any chance of their daughter choosing the career they encouraged while also ruining the pair’s relationship.
The ‘helicopter parent’ said they tried to convince the child that the tech field is very rewarding, but she responded by saying that she does not care if it’s a gold mine and is capable enough to handle it, she just hates it.
“She says it’s her future, not mine, and not everyone wants to be a tech scientist. She asked how I feel if my father tried to push me to the law field since it’s a rewarding job despite me having no interest in social sciences. Then she stormed out.”
They concluded the post by saying that they realised that they may have pushed the girl too hard because they just want her to have a bright future with no struggles.
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