Bianca Coleman
WHEN you wake up in the morning with a trail of clothing leading from the front door to the bedroom, fuzzy mouth and fuzzier head, face paint smeared on your pillow and glitter everywhere – don’t worry. It just means you spent the night with Madame Zingara.
She is an exotic mistress and you’ll find her camped at Century City. The tent, a grande dame of a certain age (older than 80, that is), is one of the last precious few remaining “mirror” tents in the world. You can read more about her fascinating past on the website. To be honest, it doesn’t look like much from the outside or during the day, but oh! as dusk falls it’s a different story.
The tent, named Victoria, is as much a star as her inhabitants.
Inside this Theatre Of Dreams, everything sparkles. The setting sun gleams softly through the colourful stained glass, and the shiny happy faces of the guests are reflected in hundreds of mirrors. Velvet-upholstered booths line the outer circumference of the tent while tables adorned with naked dolls in the fake flower centrepieces surround the tiny stage.
Dressing up appropriately is encouraged – I was sporting a turquoise boa which moulted feathers everywhere I went, a leopard print cowgirl hat and silver sequinned heels – and there is a fabulous boutique to help you get in the mood and the spirit of things.
Madame Zingara is the quintessential dinner and a show date, a celebration and a party all rolled into one. Your ticket buys you a four-course meal and a three-part entertainment spectacle. Drinks are extra but the naughtiness, flirtations, eye candy and all-round giddy good time are all included in the price.
Face painting also costs a bit on the side; while we were waiting for the show to start, Francois zee Frrrrenchman in his striped top and beret decorated my cheek with delicate blue flowers to match my boa. “Now close your eyes while I blow you,” he said suggestively before puffing a cloud of fairy dust all over me. (Glitter and paint in the bed the next morning explained.)
After a welcome drink on arrival, your floor fairy (who would be known as a waitress in any other world, where she wouldn’t be dressed in a sailor or Cat Woman costume) runs through an explanation of the night, and serves your first course, an antipasti platter for two – soup, tarts and dips. This is followed by the first show.
Then there is a pasta course, show, main course, and more show. And a trio of desserts. In between and after there is relentless merriment and dancing.
For the main food course there is a choice of four dishes, including Madame’s world-famous chocolate chilli beef, still a winner 10 years down the line. This time around I had the Asian-style salmon and my partner the melt-off-the-bone shank. Serving several hundred guests all at the same time is no easy feat but this amazing crew pulls it off with flair – from the kitchen to the team of floor fairies who parade out the plates in a dance as intricately choreographed as any one of the circus acts.
And the show? Well, I don’t want to give away too much and spoil the magic if you’ve not been before but I will tell you this: there is the breathtakingly gorgeous and funny Cathy Specific who is so much more than a blue angel; her sidekick Miss Tina Two-Time, the queen of little tarts; aerial acts that skim your ringside seat by mere centimetres, making you fear for your wine, and others that can leave you a little moist; rubber-limbed contortionists; rope skippers who impressed me more than they did the first time I saw them; and one of those blasted chair stacking acts which I can barely stand to watch through my fingers. Yes, I know they’ve done it a million times, but every time they add another chair my heart stops. Didn’t their mothers ever tell them to “get down from there!”?
At the end of each show segment, the stage is graced by the Tons of Fun, who prove that size certainly does count, and more is, well, more. They belt out the singalong favourites that get that party started, and keep it going until the wee hours of the morning.
Madame has been more than a one-night stand in my life and she never fails to leave me happy, tired and deeply satisfied. Every time. Performances take place Tuesdays to Saturdays at 8.15pm (doors open at 7pm) until January 28. Tickets are R365-R450. After a much-deserved holiday, Madame and her cast and crew will be travelling to Joburg for a season in the City of Gold. To book, contact the box office on 0861 623 263 or visit www.madamezingara.com
l Some EsCape Times activities are sponsored by the suppliers. And with that we have come to the end of this season’s EsCape Times, closing with a fitting bang. We hope you’ve had a fantastic holiday in our city. See you again next time…