The stress of money can put a real strain on relationships and a recent post on social media has sparked a heated debate about the impact of financial issues on love and partnerships.
The post, shared by a user known as AskAubry on X, tells the story of a woman who decided to end her five-year relationship over a seemingly trivial incident involving a doughnut.
In her post, the woman explains that she and her boyfriend both faced job layoffs in the tech industry a couple of years ago. While she was able to secure a new job relatively quickly, her boyfriend struggled to find employment.
She offered to support him financially while he transitioned to a new career, believing it would benefit both of them in the long run.
However, she became increasingly frustrated as her boyfriend seemed to show little motivation to pursue a new career.
Instead, he spent his time playing video games and dabbling in various self-employed ventures without putting in the necessary effort to make them successful.
The woman felt that she had made significant sacrifices to support her boyfriend's endeavours, often at the expense of her own needs and desires.
“A new microphone here, a new graphics card there. Lighting. A camera. Meanwhile, it's coming out of vacation funds | could save, investments, furniture we need, or add to a down payment for a house.
“I've given up luxuries I love and COULD afford like getting my nails and hair done to make sure our rent and bills are paid.”
The 34-year-old woman wrote: “I would even be OK with this if he contributed in other ways, like cleaning or cooking or taking the mental load of running our house, but he doesn't.
“I do everything. He never plans dates. I plan my own birthdays. If he orders food, he'll consistently forget about me and order for himself. He'll break my stuff (accidentally, like dropping a dish, or getting my headphones wet) and then not understand why I'm upset when he says, ‘Well we can just replace it’.
“We have had countless fights where I tell him how used I feel, and how financially abused I feel. I tell him he needs to get a job because I can't do this anymore, he will beg for forgiveness, ‘really try’ for two weeks and then do nothing again.”
The woman recounted a recent incident where she ordered Uber Eats for breakfast as a treat.
“I ordered us an Uber Eats for breakfast as a treat. I gave him my phone to order whatever he wanted, and when he was done I ordered mine. All I wanted was a plain doughnut as a treat and a coffee. He ordered a full breakfast, a muffin, and a side of extra hash browns.”
“When it arrived, I was on a quick work call. When I got off the call, he had already finished. I asked him where my doughnut was and he said he had eaten it.
“He had eaten his whole two eggs, bacon, toast and pancake meal, a muffin, hash browns, AND my doughnut.”
She added: “He said he never saw me order doughnuts before, so he assumed it must have been for him. He didn't wait to ask. He didn't even stop to question where my food might have been.
“He saw that there was no other food in the bag and still thought of only himself and ate it.
“I broke down into tears. It finally hit me. That one action made me realise how little care and respect he has for me, how selfish he actually is, and how big of an idiot I am. Now I'm sitting here wondering how to separate myself from someone completely dependent.”
Several users weighed in on the situation.
One user commented: “I divorced my first husband because of socks. Similar story to this, very similar, but it was me coming home from a work trip to LA.
“Exhausted, rolling in my suitcase in the front door, thinking about how I needed to run a load of laundry for work early the next am but wanted.”
Another wrote: “Women (and men) sometimes hang onto a broken relationship much longer than they should. They know they should leave but for various reasons (some important, some less so), they don’t.
“And it really can be something as simple as a doughnut that is the catalyst.”
@SevereSociety also wrote: “I've been there (with my first live-in relationship years ago). Just go.
“Get a new place, hire movers to get your stuff (including the microphone, f**k that.) He's using you because he thinks he can get away with it. You owe him nothing.”
@Janesa said: “I can’t believe it was the doughnut that broke her”.