I can’t believe how many people are still left in Joburg. The Highways are full of traffic, tempers are still frayed but the shops are empty. I feel incredibly sorry for retail, so if you have a couple of rands please spend them.
This year it’s being reported that sex toys are the hottest gift to give. It truly is the gift that will keep giving all year.
Many of us are staying home instead of migrating to Plett, Cape Town or Balito this year. I suspect we are all trying to survive and now we’re having a Staycation or as I recently heard ‘we’re doing the Garden Route. Today it’s the front garden and tomorrow the back garden.
If gardening is not your thing, Fear Not. I have some fantastic ideas to keep you relaxed, your relationship intimate and fun. It is tough to forget that you’re at home but do try.
The best thing about a vacation is that it breaks usual daily routines and suddenly you’re doing stuff slower and at different times. Try to break your daily home habits. Do not do anything on that list of chores – you’re on holiday remember.
Decide how long your staycation is going to be – I suggest no less than 5 days, 10 if you can and 21 if you are determined. Stick to it. When you’re on holiday, you rarely come home if you’re not having a good time.
Start with the simple stuff – Move your bedroom to a different room and if you can’t, change the furniture around (just for the staycation). Spray your sheets with a linen spray – try coconut. It will immediately take you into holiday space.
Get out the candles – the beautiful smelling ones. It changes the look and feel of your house.
Even better get the massage candle type. It adds a little extra spice to your relationship.
They are available from lolamontez.co.za.
If you are lucky enough to have a pool, get out the bright swimming towels, clean the cushions and once again move the outside furniture. If you usually go to the beach on holiday – go to the pool. Apply sunscreen every day – nothing says holiday more than sunscreen.
If you don’t have a pool, turn the sprayers on and run through them like you did when you were a kid, if you live in Gauteng maybe not. This year we have a severe water shortage and for those of you on the West Rand who haven’t had a shower in the last 10 days find someone who lives in a different suburb.
Get water pistols and have a game of tag. No need to break the bank, cheap pistols will do the job.
Wear only the clothes you would on holiday, so get out the bikini, baggies, T-Shirts, sarongs, shorts and slip slops. Paint your toe nails a holiday colour, try bright pink or my favourite ox blood red.
One of the things I love about going on holiday is the shops always look so different. If you’re brave enough, go shopping. You don’t have to buy anything. Don’t go to your usual Mall – shake it up a bit and go to the opposite side of town.
Go to Wimpy for breakfast. Have a milkshake or a waffle with cream and ice cream!
Melrose Arch usually has a fantastic Christmas light display. I’m not sure about this year so confirm before you go. It will have loads of photo opportunities.
Shop for a sexy snack, holiday T-Shirt, lubricant and a toy or two. There are some great Secret Santa Gifts that won’t break the bank.
Get a Henna Tattoo – not too much commitment but exciting.
Holiday sex is different as well. If you usually have sex in the morning, change it to a different time. Many women’s libido peaks at about three in the afternoon. Send the kids to the pool and you take an afternoon nap. If you have a friendly neighbour take turns hosting the kids.
Change your usual go to sex position. Introduce a toy into your play – start small, a Vibrating C@#k Ring, a remote-control vibrating Egg or Bullet is ideal.
Lola Montez has a Naughty Night Starter Kit which contains everything you’ll need for a naughty night – available in the store mentioned above or online at www.lolamontez.co.za.
Go for an evening walk – round the block, in the park or simply down the road. Hold hands, stop and kiss, talk about what you see, plan dinner.
Holiday food is usually simple and easy to prepare or it’s take-out. Do the same on your staycation. Find simple recipes. Cook them together – sip on a glass of chilled wine, listen to music and turn off the television.
Invite friends over for the afternoon, drink cocktails and party hard. Spend the next day in bed – naked, cuddle, explore, nap and eat ice cream.
If you have children – play Marco Polo with them in the pool (it’s what they’ll remember most). Play board games, charades and let them teach you how to play online games (in preparation for the retirement village.
Let each child pick an activity and a favourite meal. Do it – even if it means Jelly Tots for breakfast, you’re on holiday remember.
Go to a bookshop and leave notes of encouragement in your favourite books for future readers. Let the children browse in the children’s or craft section. Get ideas on what to do with the kids the next day.
If you live in Johannesburg, Mushroom Park and the Botanical Gardens are beautiful spots for a picnic and a game of soccer or cricket. Lie on a blanket and look at the clouds. See shapes and tell stories.
Support your local businesses – they are also staying at home. Take food, clothes, toys, dog or cat food to your charity of choice. Donate to www.dignitydreams.co.za if you don’t have a preference.
Put up the biggest Christmas Tree you can. If you have decorations, use them otherwise make them. Paper and popcorn chains work well as do hollowed out and painted eggs. Go online to get additional ideas try www.hobbycraft.co.uk or www.pintrest.com Spend a day making gifts for each other and cards for your neighbours.
Bake and decorate cupcakes or cookies. Eat them all in one sitting.
Lie on the grass and look at the stars. Try to spot the satellites, shooting stars and constellations, you can download an app to show you what to look for, try Constellation Star Viewer available from your Smartphone App store.
Try to be on your Staycation for as long as possible. Real Life and work will take over soon enough.
Try to have as much fun as possible, laugh – who knows this may just be the best vacation you’ve ever had.
I will be posting more Staycation ideas on my Social Media platforms, so do follow the links below.
Have a very blessed Christmas or Chanukah. Love your family and friends. Have great sex and if you miss me read my blog for more advice and thoughts on the Lola Montez Blog Above all be kind because as it stands now 2025 is going to be full of surprises.
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Saturday Star