Durban - Our national highways are in great condition, which they should be considering how booby-trapped with tolls they are, but you need a Victoria Cross to venture off the beaten track on any back roads in KwaZulu-Natal.
Had Avis not provided me with a Nissan XTrail, the ideal vehicle for navigating the outer spurs of the Drakensberg, my partner and I would have been camping in a ditch instead of wallowing like happy hippos in luxury on the way.
The Wild Horses Lodge near Harrismith
A stone mansion, perched high on a koppie above the rocky shores of the vast Sterkfontein Dam and which could have been featured in a San painting, was our first stopover.
Being taken out for a water safari at sunset in a streamlined boat, one of a fleet of four, by former Springbok yachtsman and master stone mason Jon Hawkins – who has designed and overseen the laying of every stone of this unusual mansion – and his wife, Trish, is more fun than meeting the Flintstones! You will be drinking fine wine from cut crystal rather than moonshine out of horns and sleeping under goose down in front of a gas fire instead of rolling up in zebra skins next to open flames.
These owners are passionate about their stamping ground. They know where to find nesting fish eagles and lone rhino roaming the Sterkfontein shores better than Fred and Wilma know “Rock Vegas”.
When you have faced cliff hangers at sea, it’s not surprising you name your waterside manor “Wild Horses”.
Spionkop Lodge
I missed out on an education, but it’s never too late to get a history lesson – and if there is anyone who can bring to life the Anglo-Boer War and the impact of the Battle at Spioenkop on our future, it is Ray Heron.
Ray owns a sprawling 700ha aloe and beef farm above the Tugela River near Ladysmith, on turf that was trodden by Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi and Louis Botha – and most of all by the entire Liverpool football squad, who backed the wrong team, under General Buller, at Spioenkop.
We drove into the rustic gate with the sun setting on orange aloes like wildfire spreading through indigenous bush and the high-pitched sound of flocks of birds disturbed by our late arrival.
Ray’s son is in charge of the aloe business and introduced us to a cocktail concoction on the deck, with the occasional black mamba story thrown in for good measure. To sit around the fire of the original Victorian farmhouse and listen to the world’s foremost expert on the subject of this strategic battle is better than watching a reality show or the history channel, even for a television addict like me.
Who knows what would have happened if, like that brave soccer team, who stood shoulder to shoulder being mown down in the noonday sun on Spioenkop, Churchill or Gandhi had been hit by a bullet between the eyes – none of us would be sipping cocktails.
Even if you are sports-mad rather than a history freak, one should make a point of stopping over at this lodge so steeped in stories, if only to admire the lush view across the valley and the wooden bench donated by Liverpool fans, in memory of players who fell at this groundbreaking battle. The bench stands prouder than a Premier League trophy, on the wide veranda of this welcoming farmhouse – very similar to the one Karen Blixen played her gramophone on, while the Germans attacked her husband and Anglo troops in Kenya, during World War I.
Spionkop Lodge, too, is right “Out Of Africa” and flies the flag for all our forefathers , whatever side they may have fought on. One should cross mountains and the Tugela, like General Buller if necessary, to visit it and at least you’re in the comfort of an Xtrail and not rollicking around, with snipers taking pot shots at you – in an ox wagon.
Cathedral Peak Hotel
This hotel is one of the legends on the south side of the Berg, boasting some of the most spectacular courts in the country I have never played tennis on – and what a revelation the sports facilities turned out to be. You can tell this is a privately owned resort, with an owner (Albert van der Riet, a former Springbok angler)who clearly loved and roamed every inch of his immaculate property.
The rooms are spacious with sweeping views, and our well-appointed superior room with a balcony knocked spots off your average so-called five-star accommodation. The fantastic management have made major refurbishments of late and I would strive to go back and stay in one of their executive suites, or separate cottages – some of the most impressive in the country.
Harry’s Bar sports trophies bigger than a prize rainbow trout on the huge oak mantelpiece over a roaring fire, and has a great atmosphere. You won’t have to queue in the dining room – it’s so cavernous, a hot air balloon could land on the carpet.
I am a big buffet man and, with the food not only tasty but undisguised, I piled my plate as high as Cathedral Peak. This was after a round of golf with Jason, the entertainment manager, who kept me entertained by thrashing me on the toughest nine holes in the province. If you are keen on a bit of action, then this hotel would suit even James Bond because from helicopter rides to rock climbing to tennis, to golf, to horse riding, to fishing – you could exhaust yourself and still have more to do. There are also two outdoor pools, one of them heated.
It is a travesty that a yearly tennis tournament isn’t held at Cathedral Peak; the courts are immaculate and the backdrop so dramatic – you feel as if you are standing at the foot of Machu Picchu – only with more air in your lungs!
They are about to celebrate 75 years of hospitality. I salute old Van der Riet, who loved his fly fishing enough to keep coming back to this beautiful spot and to make sure everyone else keeps coming back.
Saturday Star